You have a big say over what happens in your life.
The choices you make, lead to your experiences.
Sometimes you don't have a choice in some things,
but you still have a say in how you think and what
you feel while you are in that situation.

If you treat everything you go through as a
learning experience, then you can gain new
skills and qualities that will help you to
make better choices in the future.

Sometimes you go through experiences that hurt
 you. Instead of thinking about the bad things,
you can learn from the experience and make
better choices in the future so that you don't
have to go through that pain again.



Here are three questions that you can ask yourself when     
you are going through difficult situations. By writing      
these things down and answering them you can clearly  
see  the situation, what you have learnt and what you
can do so that you don't have to go through this        
experience again.      

                          

                          









My parents got upset and angry with me for not doing my chores.



It hurts me when my parents are upset with me. I still
have to do my chores anyway and it just makes it harder
on them and me if I don't do them when I am supposed
to. The quicker I get them done, the quicker I can get
back to doing what I want to do. I am also making things
easier on my parents by being helpful.


I can do my chores when I am meant to without complaining.
I know that I have to do them anyway, so I might as well enjoy
it and have fun doing them. If I get them done quickly I get
more time to do what I want to do.




I got angry at my sister for being in my room and wanting
to play with me. She ran to mum crying and I got into trouble.



My sister feels hurt and left out when I won't let her play
          with me or come into my room. If I am not happy
          with something I should talk to my sister instead
          of getting mad and being mean. I need to be more
          understanding and loving to my sister. She only
          wants to play with me because she loves me.


I can spend some time every day playing with my sister and
explain to her that I need some time to myself too. I can teach
her some games she can play on her own so that when I need
some time to myself she won't feel lonely and she will be able
to leave me alone for a little while.




I was teased at school for being different.



It hurts when someone says something mean to me. I know how it feels so I don't want to do that to anyone else. I only want to be kind to others and accept them as they are.


I can talk to someone I trust about how I feel so that I am not hurting anymore. I can find friends that do accept me for who
I am. I can be kind and understanding to the kids that teased
me. That way they will see that I am a good person and they might
learn not to judge others if I don't judge them back. I can love
who I am and be proud of the differences that make me unique.



So, you can see from the above examples that you can
change the way you think and act so that you don't have
to experience something that hurts you or makes you
angry. Even if you can't control something, like being
teased, you can decide not to let it hurt you, by being loving,
caring and understanding to the people that are hurting you.

You can remove yourself from situations that hurt you, and
treat others in ways that make them feel loved and accepted.

If you treat everything you go through as an opportunity to
learn something new, it is easier to be positive and happier
during situations that may be hard on you.