For every feeling that hurts you, there is a
positive feeling within you that will help
you to feel happier.

By learning to manage your feelings you can
turn your unhappy feelings into positive and
happy feelings. Even if something has hurt you,
you don't have to stay in that unhappy feeling.



Here are three easy steps that can help you to
change your unhappy feelings into happy feelings:




Knowing how you feel is the first step in
changing how you feel. You could be unhappy
all day and not know why. Because you don't
feel good, your day isn't fun, and you create
more unhappy experiences for yourself.

When you know what feeling is making you
unhappy, then you can clearly see what you can do
to change that unhappy feeling to a happy feeling.
At the end of this page there is a list of feelings that
can help you to identify how you are feeling.

Take a moment now and identify how you feel.
You can close your eyes to do this if it makes it easier.

It doesn't matter if you don't know exactly how you
feel. As long as you identify that it's an unhappy
feeling that you don't want to keep on feeling.

        



Now that you have identified how you feel,
It's time to make a Choice!










Because your feelings are inside you, only
you can choose to change them if you are
not happy. When you make the choice to
change them, you have the Uniting Kids
family to help and support you.

 



After you have Made Your Choice you need
to take action to help you to feel happier.
There are many things you can do.



Change the way you think about
what is making you unhappy

Use your Feelings Chart

Forgive the person who hurt you

Have Relaxation Time

Talk to someone you trust

Talk to your Uniting Kids family
on the Message Board

Read Stories on Uniting Kids Website

Do something you love like gardening, singing, reading, drawing, or playing with a friend



Sometimes it will be easy to change how you feel,
other times it may take time and persistence.


          
When you use your courage and strength,
you can turn any unhappy feeling into a
more positive one, and find happiness again.






A Feelings Chart is a fun way to help you feel
happy. By creating your very own Feelings
Chart, you can easily Take Action once you
have Made Your Choice. You can get ideas
from Bec's Chart, make your own ideas, and
also get on the message board and get ideas
from other Uniting Kids family members.

You can ask your parents or teacher for help
with your Feelings Chart. They may be able
to help you to identify your feelings and
know what action you can take to feel
happier. Or, if you do your Chart on your
own, you can explain it to your parents so
they can understand and support you.

You can use Bec's Feelings Chart as an example to help you create your own. You don't have to use all of the feelings Bec has used. You can pick the ones that you feel the most and just use them.

You can use a big sheet of cardboard and
decorate and colour it in, or even a sheet of
paper will do. Once you have finished your
Feelings Chart, put it in a place where you can
easily see it, like on your bedroom door or wall.









Sometimes you are unhappy because someone
has said or done something that has hurt you.
If others say or do things that hurt you, you can
choose to think and feel in positive ways
instead of letting yourself feel hurt.

If you understand how others feel, you don't feel hurt by
their words and actions, because you don't take it personally.


Jane and Cindy went grocery shopping with
their mum. Their mum walked very fast and
told Jane and Cindy to hurry up. Cindy did
her best to keep up, while Jane lagged
behind looking at all the shops.

Their mum nagged at Jane over and over to hurry up. She
became very irritated with Jane and started to snap at her.

When they got to the grocery store, Cindy got a
trolley and pushed it close to their mum, to make
it easy for her to put the groceries in. She
helped her mum as much as she could.

 Jane asked for some chocolate. Her mum told her she couldn't
have any and not to ask for anything else. But Jane didn't listen.
She kept picking things up off the shelf and asking for them.



Finally their mum got angry and shouted at Jane
not to touch anything else. She asked Jane why
she couldn't be more like her sister Cindy.

Jane got angry at Cindy. She felt jealous and
thought that Cindy was her mum's favourite. Jane
blamed her mum for their horrible shopping trip,
instead of realising it was her very own actions
that caused her to have an unhappy experience.
Jane was selfish and only thought about
herself and what she wanted.

 Cindy used her understanding to think about how her mum
might be feeling. She knew her mum had a lot of things to
do that day, which was why she was in a hurry. She also
knew that her mum had a budget to stick to, and she
didn't have left over money from shopping.

Cindy didn't want to upset her mum by asking
for something her mum wasn't able to give her.
Cindy chose to be helpful and understanding
towards her mum. Because of this she created
a happy shopping experience.

Most of the time we don't really know how someone else is
feeling. That's why we need to try to use our understanding.
If Jane had thought about how her mum felt, she would
have acted differently.

Cindy didn't feel hurt by her mum's anger even though
her mum spoke to her in a cranky voice. She understood
why her mum was angry. Cindy knew it was her mum's
choice to feel angry and impatient. She didn't get upset
over her mum's choice, and she didn't let it affect her
choice to feel understanding and happy.



Every person chooses how they want to feel in every moment.
You can't change how someone else is feeling, just as they can't
change how you are feeling. You can accept how they are
feeling though, and choose to not let it hurt you.

You don't have to feel hurt just because of
how someone else is feeling. If someone is
angry at you, that's their choice. How you
react to that is your Choice. Because your
feelings are inside you, it is impossible for
anyone to make you feel a certain way.






Below is a list of feelings to help you to identify how you feel.
The first feeling is an unhappy feeling, and the second is the
more positive and happier way you could choose to feel instead.

Every thought that you have affects how you
will feel in that moment. So whenever you are
trying to change how you feel, start by changing
how you are thinking. Think in a more positive
and loving way and over time your feelings
will also become happier and more positive.